Crossing the Lines

Boundaries. Many of them are visible. Fences. Walls. Ropes (or those retractable straps used in places like airports). Painted lines. Coloring books. Barricades of all kinds. The idea is that when we bump up against such a boundary, we won’t cross over it for fear of the consequences which might ensue.

Of course, other boundaries aren’t visible. Personal space (which can vary from one person to another). Laws that no one has committed fully to memory. Social norms. Office etiquette. The list of forbidden topics at family reunions. Gift-giving guidelines. Often, it is only through painful experiences that we discover and learn to respect these invisible boundaries.

We’re usually not happy campers when someone crosses one of our invisible personal boundaries. Such violations can elicit anger or frustration or hurt in us. We might say that we reach our tipping point or our boiling point or our breaking point… some internal line that when crossed cannot be renegotiated. The verbal lashing is unleashed. The relationship is irreparably broken. Trust is trampled beyond restoration. Crossing boundaries, especially in vindictive or intentional ways, is damaging on many levels.

Yet some truths are clear. No human being is a doormat to be walked all over. Every human being has value as a unique creature whether that value is claimed or not. Each human being is blessedly wired with a vast array of emotions to some degree. All human beings have the capacity to respond, learn, grow, change, adapt, manage, be transformed, improve. We’re organic and animate. And inherent in our design is the fact that “no (hu)man is an island” as British cleric John Donne penned in 1623 from his deathbed. Because we are interdependent, the lines we experience whenever we bump up against one another are drawn most often to keep us safe and alive.

The impact of Nelson Mandela’s life and witness was felt far beyond South Africa where he lived and labored. His wisdom is often quoted. If embraced, his insights could go a long way in respecting or crossing boundaries so that life may be enhanced. One notable assertion is that “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Mandela is best known for believing that “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.” Crossing the lines of division, hatred, prejudice, and exclusion could go a long way in forging partnerships that make for safety and abundant life. Doing so requires intention… but for good rather than harm. Can we put down the poison cup to build our communities up? Let’s look in every direction before crossing the lines!