In days gone by, we couldn’t begin count on one hand the number of times we’d be on a mobile phone hearing the comment from the other party, “You’re breaking up!” As towers have sprung up across the landscape, it is a little less common occurrence these days. Still, the potential for dropped calls while traveling accompanies us. Internet service can also be a source of frustration with its interrupted connections… and while the dependent device and its equally dependent operator remain stationary! Emails wait patiently to be sent once the connection is restored. The Zoom meeting will continue on for others. Breaking up isn’t really all that hard!
Imperfect services are one thing; human relationships are another matter altogether. Break ups can be some of the most painful experiences we endure in this life. Whether the severed connection happens within a family or among friends or between lovers, the perceived rejection often gives rise to feelings of diminished self-esteem. A person’s absence during holiday gatherings, family reunions, across the table and across the room can feel cavernous physically and emotionally. Some struggle to find a new normal while others immediately seek to fill the void with a substitute. A broken relationship can seem like a rip in the fabric of one’s life that can’t be mended. Breaking up can be hard on us all!
Recognizing that human relationships can sometimes be unhealthy, abusive, and – as we might say – toxic, a breakup could be redeeming and life-giving. Yet the decision to cut off a connection never comes easily. We are creatures designed for community. We need others of our kind, and we even need to be needed. Even when a breakup is for the betterment of a person, it can still be hard to do.
For many of us, being in the company of others energizes us, “recharges our batteries” we might say. There is a sense in which the loss of personal connection can feel like the loss of a power source in our lives. Again, we are “wired” for relationships. Yet the commitment to hanging in with others through all the ups and downs and twists and turns we experience in our messy existence on earth is often fragile, easily broken. We can be oh so fickle… fair-weather friends and naively misled lovers. And we can be oh so restless as well. We are free to move about physically and emotionally and so we do. Breaking up, like many things we undertake, isn’t really all that hard when we practice it regularly.
Staying connected is nevertheless a true gift to be appreciated and fostered. It’s part of our calling as human beings we’d best not drop!
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