What's Left Behind?

Fallout. It happens. After a bitter argument between siblings, spouses, friends, coworkers, it’s there. Following a rash decision that leads to financial ruin, it’s there. On the heels of betrayed trust or discovered infidelity, it’s there. Like the ashes in the fireplace once the wood has burned, it’s what is left behind. Fallout happens without fail.

The outcomes of our words and actions need not be harmful, however. What remains after we say or do something can be impactful in positive ways. The fallout from an apology may be a healed relationship. What remains after a meal shared with others can be deepened appreciation. The remnant after an unexpected gift is received will likely be increased affection. Fallout happens without fail but what’s left behind could be life-giving rather than damaging.

We have become more aware of our “carbon footprint” in recent years because of the toxic impact we humans are having on the life of the planet. Has our awareness changed our behavior? In much the same way, we might think about becoming more conscious of our “personal imprint” as we walk about in this world. Would such careful attention to our words and actions lead to any change in what’s left behind?

This is a challenging time of year. We may love the decorations, the snow, the music, the activities of the approaching Christmas season but we may also find ourselves stressed or depressed or disappointed during the holidays. Nostalgia pulls us into the past. Unrealistic and unexamined expectations rob us of joy. Darkness eats into our already-waning inner fortitude needed in the final month of the year. The fallout is a messy mix of emotions we struggle to understand. It happens.

More than two decades ago, two women published a revised edition of a research-based book that is both startling and refreshing. Its title is Unplug the Christmas Machine. In it, Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli describe a young woman disturbed by her nine-year-old son’s Christmas wish list which contained over sixty requested gifts. The authors report that the mother “blamed his mania for gifts on his friends, television commercials, and store displays. She felt defeated in her efforts to teach him better values.” The fallout of our consumer-driven culture. However, the authors assert, “While children may be quick to tell their parents that what they want is designer clothes, the latest electronic gear, and brand-name toys, underneath these predictable requests is an unspoken plea for four, more basic requirements: 1) a relaxed and loving time with family 2) realistic expectations about gifts 3) an evenly paced holiday season and 4) reliable family traditions.” Imagine what would be left behind if we all honored these gifts!